I caught up with a good friend of mine last night
after a year of not seeing each other.
I hugged him with tears in my eyes
and handed him a beer while we talked
about our shitty apartment we used to share.
I’ve spent the last year of my life putting
my pieces back together,
trying to make my heart feel whole again
but sitting right there with his arm around my chair,
drinking a beer, laughing at stupid inside jokes
I felt complete.
we didn’t even realize it was raining.
he doesn’t know me like other people do.
he doesn’t know that I write,
or that I have trouble sleeping at night.
but he knows about the lighter on the nightstand when I read,
what music I listen to when I clean,
how I swept the bathroom after I cut his hair,
how I look without makeup and a big tshirt on,
how I would sit criss-cross on the couch watching Scrubs.
he knows the side of me that is…happy.
and I realized when I told him goodbye at 4am
that maybe my heart wasn’t broken by the man I was engaged to.
maybe my heart was broken because I let a good friend slip away,
the only man who understood when I said,
“oh, shut up…just make me laugh, asshole.”
I think your heart breaks from the loss of innocence,
I think your heart breaks when the people who are suppose to be there
Above All Things
That God has blessed me with recently..
Today, I just got hired for a 2nd job that I applied for to help me personally. As opposed to my 1st job which primarily pays off my bills and rent and helping my parents out. Now that I have a 2nd job, I’ll have more of a safety net plus personal spending money which I will, for the most part, save up to move out lol. The best thing about this 2nd job, is their pay period pays in between my 1st job, meaning, I’ll be getting a paycheck every week! Aww yeeaa!
2014 has been SO GOOD to me thus far. I can’t even exaggerate how great God has been. It really just goes to show that with prayer and patience, and trust in His plan, things will work out.
God sees your everyday struggles. But He never put you in this world to struggle. He wants what’s best for you. So believe me when I say, all the shit you’ve been going through, will eventually be worth it.
We’ve all heard it before, in many different variations. “You are who you surround yourselves with.” If you surround yourselves with people who are going nowhere, don’t really care or show interest in where you’re going, and who constantly pull you down, you will get nowhere. But if you surround yourselves with people who support you, push you, and not give up on you, you’re destined to do great things.
I’ve had friends who for as long as I’ve had them always told me I have potential to be great. Whether it be drawing, dancing, poetry, whatever it was. Many friends have come and gone but the ones that’s stuck around this entire time were always the ones who told me to reach for the stars and never stop reaching. The moment I started this whole Stand-Up comedy thing, a flock load of my friends asked me where they can watch me at. This night I was really nervous because a lot of people said they were coming. But when I got there, and slowly but surely I saw so many of my friends come through the door, the nerves seemed to disappear. I did not expect so many people to come. It felt so good to stand back and just watch everyone. To know that they took time out of their busy lives and schedules to make it out and see me. Shit, I had a friend who had work at 2am and still came through! I did have a few friends and Fam who said they were going to come but ended up not being able to show, and that’s perfectly fine. Their desire to be there meant as much to me as the ones that did show as well. It’s crazy. The love and support I felt was so overwhelming.
This past month has been crazy filled with offers, invites, and a bunch of other things to perform all over, one including HOLLYWOOD, and these same people are asking “When!?” “Where!?” “What time!?” “I never want to miss a show!” Texts, FB/IG comments, Phone calls, you name it.
Through all of this. I can’t help but to sit back and pray, and Thank God for blessing me with such great people in my life. It’s such a good feeling to feel that at one point, you feel like you’re going nowhere, to the next minute, things are blowing up in such great ways. It really does go to show that with patience, and prayer, and grinding, you can make anything happen. Like I’ve said many times before; in life, people will come and go. But the ones that truly support you, are there for you regardless, and are truly happy for your accomplishments, those are the people that will stick around forever. Those are the people that you can’t let go of.
Even if this whole Stand Up thing doesn’t last, even if it’s just a “phase”, I know that no matter what road I take in life, I will still be blessed with the same friends and Fam to support me in anything I do.